L.E.O.N

I am really starting to hate even more part of me and part of my life.

Communication between ppl are so hard, specially those that are close to you. Ppl really tend to make assumption of you! they will categorizes you as what source of person base of their own observation and assumption even the close ones. Even worse is that even if you explain, they will still find fault in you and didn't really absorb your explaination. why why! 人为何要那么主观！Why can't they think more for others, maybe others have their 苦中. And why ppl like to pick words to listen. Sometimes ppl do listen to what other ppl say and try to learn from it, but it needs time and we only wanna explain ourself and not defending ourself. But other ppl will think that we are defending ourself and don't really get your explaination. Thats one reason i hate talking to ppl abt myself and hate to communicate to those ppl i feel our characters is too distant to be abt to get a agreement.

Why we have to be and do what other ppl want us to do, rather than doing what we feel comfortable since we are not harming anyone or doing any bad things. Every ppl do have their own mental or character barrier on something, but why other ppl have to force them cross that mental/character barrier since its not harmful to other ppl. If you really care and think for that person, you should let them feel comfortable with themselves instead of forcing them to be someone which is not themselves and they are struggling to be one. I do know that they are forcing you to be one because they will it will benefit you and will make them happy also. I know it is a good thing. But its not you don't want to, but because you have this barrier that you are strugging to break through. But they will think that you don't understand what they say or they will think that you don't admit our mistake. Because they do not experience that mental barrier thing thats why they don't understand that feeling. Just like some ppl scare of cats, but i will think why do they scare of cats, cats so cute, but you still have to respect, and not forcing them to accept cats which is a mental barrier to them. All the ppl in this world is different, so what's so strange and unacceptable of each one's mental barrier.

Last time i do believe although ppl have different characters, but communication do help them to have a better understanding and more common agreements even their characters and thinkings are totally Incompatible. But for the past few years, i start to realise i am totally wrong and i am a stupid fool to believe in that. I am not saying communications do not help, it do help those ppl who have quite a few common understandings or a few common understandings. But what i mean is it will be totally useless if both have totally different set of thinking or have those characters that think they are always right and will not accept other ppl thinkings if it differ from theirs, or those ppl that think you have to listen to them. For these types of ppl, whatever you tell them will be useless, and it will become more frustrated or sad if you continue to communicate with them. If it is a normal friend or stranger, the most you don't talk to them that often, but if that person is someone close to you, then what should you do?

Ppls also tend to say things that 自相矛盾. Like they say they believe you but after that they will say things that doesn't shows they believe you. They thinks that you say things that hurt them, but they never realise the things they say also hurt you so much. Some ppl just keep arguing because they don't wanna lose and when they nothing more to say, they will just say those most hurting words like...........

Every ppl have their own different standards, but you can't force your standard on other ppl since that person is starting to improve. Like originally the person is 30 points but he slowly get to 50 points but you keep forcing your standard of 80 points on him. Ppl might go mad(Mental disorder).

Different ppl can take in different amt of stress and pressure and sadness, so don't try to over exceed the amt other ppl can take in.

Since the thinking is so different and uncompatible and both insist of them thoughts. Then the problem will never be solve and never be a common understanding. This type of problem will never be solved.

I am not complaining abt this type of ppl, becos maybe other ppl might think i also fall under this category, and maybe i really am.

I just feel that i am getting so overloaded and might exploded.

I feel i might be the first to disappear............ sometimes i really hate living in this world..

I really miss and need my darling so much.

{ 7:23 AM }